Setting Ivory aside (left) and starting on sketching out a new drawing (on right). She’s going to be Ivory’s sassier sister~lol Im having a lot of fun with contrasting blacks from whites and textured areas.
December 2, 2013
As the end of the year approaches, I feel that this year has been a pretty good year for me… I feel like I learned and grew a lot as both an artist and as a person.
It is rather rare for me to actually feel this way after so many years of feeling stuck and falling back and forth into depression. I had to question myself multiple times and it is almost as if I need to get another person’s approval before I could have the right to feel proud of myself.
I am a person who simply knows what she likes, and I am aware that my drawings don’t suit a vast majority of people’s taste. It was something that I was fully aware of since the moment that I decided to devote my life to art. I’ve learned to ignore other people’s distaste and their lack of manners when they find that my work goes beyond their understanding.
Sometimes, however, their venomous seed take root and grows into something bigger, fed from the negativity of my own thoughts.
When you are subjected to other people’s callous judgments when you are still in the middle of growing, it is easy to get torn up and discouraged. Especially if you think you did your best. However, the thing that kept me going is knowing that I have yet to produce my best work. Each drawing isn’t finality of proof of your skills, but a progression of growth. Art isn’t to fit in or to aspire to get the approval of others. To me, art is about finding yourself and the tools are all laid out for you to build your own world the way you want it. My objectives have yet to be fulfilled, and the layers that lies over my sleeping world is thick and have yet to be uncovered.
In the bigger scheme of things, I know that my accomplishments are but a tiny step. I don’t practice nearly as much as I should and I’m not as disciplined as much as I wish I was. My priorities are misplaced, I tend to make a lot of excuses for myself and there are still many goals that I haven’t even grazed the surface of yet. The list goes on and on…
I believe that it is in our nature to belittle and degrade ourselves in an attempt to make ourselves aware of our own flaws and to fix it, but something that I learned this year is to not only acknowledge your mistakes, but your accomplishments as well, no matter how small they are.
Been so busy the past week. It felt like a whole month instead of just 7 days since I last posted a wip… I finally got some time to myself today and was free to snooze until noon. I don’t think the extra sleep did me any good however, since I woke up with a sore-throat. I’m going to need to start popping a bunch of supplement pills if I don’t want to get sick. :-( geh.
Finally having some quality time to myself, I noticed how empty the book shelf that I purchased not too long ago looked. I think my next purchases will be focused on new books filled with some fresh inspiration. I’m also looking to purchase a new tea set since I’ve been getting tired of brewing my tea in a dirty french press. :- / I recently had tea at a friend’s place who owned a cute set and the whole experience was rather nice. I really do believe that aesthetics play a big role in enhancing an experience, even though it might be something so simple as sitting down to a cup of tea. The problem is, I have yet to find a tea set that would completely steal my heart!
After having such a hectic month, I miss spending alone-time in my room surrounded by all my favorite things.
Wip for a new piece “Noir’s Coffin”.
Just got finished with my second show, “The New Normal” at the Cella Gallery and getting a head start for the next one coming up in January! I don’t have many photos, but the opening for “The New Normal” was a lot of fun, and I feel like I’ve learned a lot just from being able to study and experience all the other participating artist’s work in person. They were all very talented and I was very humbled by the fact that I got to exhibit my work alongside theirs.
I’m usually a bit mentally unstable after all the chaos and stress from finishing a big project has settled down, but surprisingly, I’m coping pretty well. I took a break from drawing for a little bit so that I can clean my room, catch up on my social life, do some reading, and just, laze around.
I’ve finally got around to brainstorming for my next projects and I’m ready to plunge right into them. Each time I put pen onto paper, it’s exciting to pretend that I’m scratching off the surface of this mundane world to reveal another hidden dimension of my own reality. Every time I finish each piece, no mater how much heart and patience I’ve put into it, I can’t help but feel a tinge of dissatisfaction. I want to keep improving my skills and continue to grow as an artist in hopes that one day, these visions inside my head could be fully materialized into this world.