Skipped class today and went to the school library to look for inspiration. I used to spend a lot of time at the library wandering through the aisles and getting lost in the books. I spent the rest of the afternoon and evening with my friend T, and we had a very relaxing time together… I’ve had some time to stop and really think everything through.

all of my classes this semester are somewhat easygoing and aren’t very intensive since most of them are just drawing classes, so i’ve actually been having quite a lot of time on my hands lately… I’ve been killing a lot of time just waiting around for them to give me something to do and getting more and more depressed because there really was nothing to do. It felt like I got rejected by someone whom I really loved and decided to devote myself to, but then I realized that i’ve been depending too much on school to give me some sense of self worth….I been too focused on trying to please everyone that I forgot about my own needs and lost sight of the simple pleasures of life. I need to slow down, relax, open my eyes, take a look around, breathe, take my time, and create for the sake of just creating…

ps: thank you to those who have gave me their consolation :-)